The Kitsch Cache

Cluster Flock

Token Effort — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 03:37:15 +0000

Hairdressers of Musicians?

Aaahh! Yes, music in the 1980s did sound how it looked. This is a Flock of Seagulls. They’re a band, not a gathering of hairdressers at a ‘crimp and tease’ seminar. Musicians in the 1980s were distant and aloof. They lounged around in up-turned collars and baggy high-pants, carelessly flicking tinted hair from their brows…..I can almost hear the conceited, phased, whine of the DX synth from here.

Going my way?

Token Effort — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 00:23:52 +0000

Meine gearschlocken ist kapputt

Everything in 1971 had a brown tinge to it – even beige things. Mercedes made big cars for big men…that were driven by skinny submissive girls. You’re chauffer, Heidi, could use the auto telefonen to book you and Helmut a table at your favourite lederhosen club…

Pin-up girl

Token Effort — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 02:20:58 +0000

Oh dear! She seems to have caught her dress. Thank goodness she’s wearing appropriate under-garments. Elvgren have been aiming to please stocking wearing, shuttle-deck game, enthusiasts and voyeurs with their range of ‘playful’ advertisements since the 1960s…

Just shut up and drive

Token Effort — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 03:41:04 +0000

Doof, Doof, Doof

What did bad girls do in the 1960s? Smoke cigarettes and drive really fast. She’s probably called Mary, Linda or Barbara (they were the most popular girl’s names in the 1940s). She may look really hot, pouting, behind the wheel of a sports car in 1962, but sadly in 2009 she’s more than likely to be a slightly overweight, divorced, volunteer canteen assistant living in a bedsit on the fringe of the London Home Counties…..you should see the state of her ex-husband!

Femme Fatale

Token Effort — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 04:56:10 +0000

Dressed to Kill

The Femme Fatale of the 1960s was cool, seductive and sexual. Her charms ensnared her lovers in bonds of irresistible desire – often leading them into compromising and dangerous situations.

She drove them to the point of obsession and exhaustion so that they were incapable of making rational decisions.

She was an agent provocateur. An agent or spy, who was working undercover to entice an illegal, illicit or irrational act.

Her sexual allure was matched only by her deadly intent…

The Groovy Office

Token Effort — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 04:38:37 +0000

Carry On Up The Corridor

The 1970s office was swinging. You were the man if you had a chocolate brown suit and mutton chops. That girl on the right is called a ‘secretary’. An executive needed a secretary back in the seventies because someone had to be there to light his cigarettes, make the tea and laugh politely at his innuendo. In the 1970s secretaries would use a typewriter – if they weren’t taking shorthand or dictation (how they laughed!).

A bit of Wookie

Token Effort — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 05:21:17 +0000

Back in the 1970s it seems that a naughty Wookie could lay his furry paws on a Princess’ dowry without fear of recrimination…

Fashion clangers

Token Effort — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 04:55:38 +0000

: Three Men and a Mannequin

Male fashion catalogue models aren’t what they used to be! Is that a mannequin on the left? He looks a little stilted in his delivery.

The only professional amongst the four of them seems to be the guy with the crease ironed into his jeans giving us a bit of ‘blue steel’…..he’s pitching that ensemble like he means it.

If you want to look like a freshly upholstered sofa – then go no further than h.i.s for all your fashion accessories.

Hot and steamy

Token Effort — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 22:23:30 +0000

Oh…..rice. When you said you had a surprise for me, something I really wanted, but wasn’t expecting, I sort of assumed that it was going to be something…well…a little more exotic – something personal. If you know what I mean. No, no. Rice is great. I love rice. Rice…..really. Yes, it was very unexpected…

Price check

Token Effort — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 03:11:23 +0000

Mop and bucket to ailse 3

Obviously, the lady doesn’t know that she’s standing in a crowded supermarket in just her underwear. There is only one thing worse than a wedgie when your melons are being bagged – and that is having to queue up behind a senile, half-dressed, old woman at the checkout counter.