Archive for the 1980s Category

Cluster Flock

Posted in 1980s with tags , , , , , , , on December 3, 2009 by Token Effort

Hairdressers of Musicians?

Aaahh!  Yes, music in the 1980s did sound how it looked.  This is a Flock of Seagulls.  They’re a band, not a gathering of hairdressers at a ‘crimp and tease’ seminar.  Musicians in the 1980s were distant and aloof.  They lounged around in up-turned collars and baggy high-pants, carelessly flicking tinted hair from their brows…..I can almost hear the conceited, phased, whine of the DX synth from here.

Defenders of the universe

Posted in 1970s, 1980s with tags , , , , , , , , on November 13, 2009 by Token Effort

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Lycra is the fabric of space

I’m not too sure how this one actually got the thumbs up?  Buck Rogers in the 25th Century used the old props and costumes form the original Battlestar Galactica series and featured a small robot called Twiki, who looked suspiciously like an over-sized metal dildo.

Gil Gerard (William ‘Buck’ Rogers) squeezed his ample thighs into a pair of spandex to defend Earth from evil invasion for 2 seasons between 1979 and 1981.  However, it was Erin Grey (Colonel Wilma Deering) who promoted tight Lycra as the fabric of the space time continuum.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Posted in 1980s with tags , , , , on November 12, 2009 by Token Effort

In the 1980s a real man didn’t wear red braces and sport a pony tail.  A real man bared his hairy chest and muscular arms, while firing a pair of Uzi machine guns.  A real man stood up for truth, justice and the American way.  That’s why the 1980s belonged to Chuck Norris.

The facts:

  • Chuck Norris doesn’t read books.  He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
  • There is no theory of evolution.  Just a list of creatures that Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
  • Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet as Chuck Norris.
  • There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard – just another fist.
  • Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch.  HE decides what time it is.
  • Remember the Soviet Union?  They decided to quit once they watched a Delta Force.

Merchant Banker

Posted in 1980s with tags , , on November 12, 2009 by Token Effort
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What a banker

Time is money.  That’s why you carried a brick-sized block of radiation and constantly checked your watch in the 1980s.  Nothing shouted ‘prestige’ like a mobile phone in 1988.  They were still too heavy to hang off your belt.  Too small to provide more than 20 minutes of battery life…..but just right for looking like a smug bastard.

Please tease me

Posted in 1980s with tags , , , , , , , on November 6, 2009 by Token Effort
Big Hair

an exotic and powerful aphrodisiac

Whether you were a stockbroker or guitarist in a band that played Poodle Rock, no one was going to take you seriously in the 1980s unless you had big hair.  This was the decade of the hairdresser – probably the only time in history that heterosexual men seriously considered mincing around in a torn midriff as a career option.

The humble mullet evolved into an exotic and powerful aphrodisiac and big hair became big business.  It’s no coincidence that the hole in the ozone layer was discovered at the peak of industrial adhesiveness for hairsprays.